On family ties, true bonds and brave children

With the adoption of our Igor, we are blessed with the special love of a very special member of our family. Family which goes far beyond the blood lines of our members, true bonds for life based on decisions we made together and events we can’t control or prevent. Myself being adopted because events made me an orphan and my adoptive parents decided to adopt me and love me as their own son. My precious girlfriend at the time of our decision and now my fiancé, once in full acceptance that she is not able to have children of her own and now the proud mother of her 2 adopted children, her very own children. My blood family, the relatives of my parents, and my adoptive family, the relatives of my adoptive parents. Family of my fiancé, proud grandparents of their adopted grandchildren. Best friends, who came so close and special that they are a part of our family, of our lives. And of course our Leia, our smiling shining precious sweet angel, who motivated us to do whatever it takes to adopt our Igor and be the best parents we can be for our children.

All these special people, family by blood or by decision to make a difference for those who no longer have family, are my family, our family. And all of them were there for us during the adoption procedures of Igor. Praying with us, hoping with us. Sharing our fears and giving us hope that all would work out for the best. Cheering with us when the special moment was there and we were allowed to adopt our Igor, crying happy tears with us and celebrating this special moment with us. Thinking out loud with us how they can support us with his treatments and how we can join our love and strength to help and support this wonderful sweet loving traumatized little boy. Because we are family and Igor belongs to our family.

On the day we arrived with Igor, my sweet aunt was of course there. She had taken time off and arrived the day before we left so she could take care of Leia while we were gone and be there for us no matter what the outcome would be. My uncle was also there, he arrived even before my aunt because his boy, as he calls me, and his little Princes Leia can always count on him and whenever we need him, he is there. In person or by phone or video, my uncle is always there for his family. My future parents-in-law where there, flown in the night before because they didn’t want to miss the special moment when their Leia would see their Igor again and all the time during the procedures they were with us, dropped everything just to be on our side. My future father-in-law represented our case with all his knowledge and passion and addressed himself as grandfather of Igor during the hearing. Nothing stops him when it comes to his family, and Igor was family long before the court agreed on that!

My best friend drove 600 kilometers to be there when we arrived with Igor and pretended he happened to be in the neighborhood and just dropped by. For over 20 years, he is always there when I need him. My fiancé’s best friend since they went to school together, flew in with her parents because she had to be there during Lyudmila’s special moment. They have always shared their special moments and there was no stopping her to share this moment. She was there for Lyudmila when the tumors were discovered that caused Lyudmila to never have children of her own, she was there when Lyudmila recovered from the operations to save her life and during all her tears dealing with the pain of not having children, long before she came in to my life.

Leia, our special Leia, couldn’t believe her eyes when she was holding her Ijo again, as she calls her new brother Igor. Ever since we met this special little boy this summer, she never stopped talking about her Ijo and Leia could only do what she does only with her special people, her Jaja family. She kissed his face and couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop kissing her Ijo. I don’t think anyone in our family will forget this very special moment and this very special moment was the reason why they did whatever it takes to be there with us and share this special moment, be part of us as they always are.

In the following days, when we brought our family members to the airport for their flights back home, Leia was always worried that her Ijo would leave with them and every time she was all smiles when Ijo stayed with us. Leia has a very special way of expressing that someone is a member of our family, she calls them Jaja like she calls me since we flew home together the first time. So Igor is Ijo Jaja, family for Leia and every time we traveled to the airport, she was very happy when I calmed her worries about Igor leaving by calling him Ijo Jaja and her Jeja Jaja, as she calls herself. We are the Jaja family, a very special family!

These special precious children have never done anything wrong, nor did their families. They were simply born in a time and a place in which politicians decided to raise war, death and destruction to fulfill their political goals. Safely sitting behind their desks, far away from the Hell on Earth they are responsible for. Far away from the destruction and despair they cause, deciding over life and death of people they don’t care about. The harm done to these children is just a number in some statistics, maybe a side note in some report nobody cares about and certainly not even a headline in the news.

So now we have 2 special sweet orphaned amputees as our children. Someday, when they are old enough to understand, we will have to tell them what happened to them, what was done to them and their families. We will have to tell them about the wars initiated by politicians and most likely we will have to tell them that these politicians were never held accountable for their crimes against them and their families and all their other wrongdoings. We will have to tell them that at least one of these politicians responsible for the crimes against them and their families, was rewarded with the Nobel Peace Prize for his wrongdoings. How can we ever find the words to explain this to them?

I already know that I will not have the strength to face this alone and I also know I don’t have to face this alone. Their loving special mother will be there with me, be there for them like she always is, every single moment. When God Almighty permits, my aunt and my uncle will hopefully still be there for them, covering them with the special love they give them every day, just like hopefully their grandparents will still be there for them like they are now, loving and caring. My best friend, who risked his life twice to save mine and moved heaven and earth to help me find my family, will be there for our  children and do the same for them. Lyudmila’s best friend, who went through her darkest days with her and shared her special moments with her, will be there for our children.

Should there ever be peace in the countries where our special children were born, we will visit the places together. Tracing back where there parents lived, just like I did with my parents. None of this will undo what was done to them and their families. None of this will take the pain away for them but we will be there for them, with them, loving and protecting them. Their very own Jaja family.

This is my dedication to Leia and Igor, the bravest and sweetest children who bless us with their special love every moment since God Almighty blessed us with them.

This my dedication to Lyudmila who is the best mother our children could wish for, motivates me to be a good father and was, is and will always be there for me when the phantom pains drive me up the wall and the nightmares of the explosion make my nights to a living hell, calming me with her love and understanding.

This is my dedication to all the special people who helped us and supported us with adopting these special children.

This is my dedication to all the special members of our family who support us in caring for these special children and will always be there for them.

This is my dedication to Lyudmila’s best friend who kept her from taking her life when she couldn’t handle losing what she craved for most and was, is and will always be there for her.

This my dedication to the brave surgeon who operated on me when I was blown to pieces and refused to leave when the field hospital came under attack and was overrun, risking his life to keep me alive until we were liberated and who is now the proud godfather of our children and dedicates his knowledge and experience to explaining treatments of our special boy.

This is my dedication to my best friend who saved my life twice risking his own, kept me from doing what I wanted to do when I decided to end my life and suffering long ago, and was, is and will always be there for me, even when my anger over what was done to these children gets the upper hand and controls my thinking and I become who I never want to be again.

I love you all, much more than I can ever express. I could not do this or anything else without you! I am forever in your debt and what makes you all so special is that all of this, all the special love you give, is just normal for you because we are family. My family, my special Jaja family.

Kind regards,



2 thoughts on “On family ties, true bonds and brave children

  1. I promised to add to my comment a wee 6 days ago: How wonderful to be blessed with knowing family, with loving that family and all its members, be it of blood or of heart. How wonderful to be able to stay in close contact with one’s members, to be surrounded by their warmth, their compassion, their help, their truth of mind and heart.
    You and Lyudmilla, Leia and Igor are truly blessed for not only your blood family, but all those members you acquired as part of your group along the path of life, stand with you in spirit and in truth, in love and in friendship.

    Liked by 1 person

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